You’ve been working out consistently.
You’ve been eating healthier.
You’ve been trying to steward your body well.

And yet, when you look in the mirror, you still may not see the transformation you expected.

Maybe you wanted to lose 20 pounds. Maybe you hoped to fit into a certain dress by the holidays. Maybe you thought by now your body would look completely different.

If that’s you, I want to encourage you: your fitness journey is not failing just because it doesn’t look the way you imagined externally.

Sometimes a fitness journey can look complicated on the outside while something beautiful is happening on the inside.

1. Remember the Real Goal

The goal of your fitness journey is not ultimately about being a size two or having a flat stomach.

Yes, those things may be nice aesthetically, but they are not the deepest purpose.

The real goal is health and stewardship.

As women of God, we are called to take care of the bodies God has entrusted to us so we can effectively run the race He has set before us. That means we need to start measuring success differently.

Instead of asking:

• “Do I look thinner?”

• “Why don’t I look like her?”

• “Why hasn’t my body changed enough?”

Maybe we should ask:

• “Is my blood work healthy?”

• “Am I stronger than I used to be?”

• “Do I have more endurance?”

• “Am I taking care of myself faithfully?”

A flat stomach may look good in pictures, but being healthy enough to fulfill your purpose matters far more.

If you can walk up stairs without getting winded, that’s a win.
If your lab results are improving, that’s a win.
If your body is functioning better than before, that’s a win.

Health is deeper than appearance.

2. Protect Your Heart From Comparison

One of the quickest ways to become discouraged on your journey is by constantly comparing yourself to other people online.

There’s nothing wrong with following fitness creators who inspire you. Seeing someone’s discipline and consistency can motivate you.

But there’s a difference between inspiration and comparison.

The moment fitness content starts making you despise your own progress, it’s time to guard your heart.

Social media often shows curated results without revealing the full story:

• What did they look like years ago?

• What resources do they have?

• What genetics do they have?

• What editing or posing is happening behind the scenes?

You do not need to follow every fitness trend or every fitness guru.

Sometimes wisdom looks like simplifying your routine, staying consistent, and asking God for direction instead of chasing every viral method.

Consistency will always take you further than comparison.

3. Keep Showing Up — But Give Yourself Grace

A healthy lifestyle should not feel like punishment.

Too many people approach fitness with guilt, shame, and extreme restriction. But sustainable health requires grace.

That may look like:

• Making small changes instead of drastic ones

• Swapping out certain meals a few days a week

• Eating cleaner most of the time without obsessing

• Enjoying your favorite snacks in moderation without condemning yourself

Perfection is not the goal.

Grace matters.

You can pursue health while still enjoying life. You can work out consistently while also being kind to yourself in the process.

And honestly, confidence does not come from reaching a certain size.

Real confidence comes from identity.

When you know who you are in Christ, you stop believing your worth is tied to a number on a scale. You stop needing external perfection to feel valuable.

You begin to show up fully as yourself — whether that means wearing makeup or not, dressing up or showing up naturally.

Confidence rooted in identity will always outlast confidence rooted in appearance.

4. Ask God for Divine Strategy

One of the most overlooked parts of health and fitness is inviting God into the process.

But why would we leave Him out of an area He understands better than anyone?

He created your body.
He knows your frame.
He knows what is healthy for you specifically.

Romans 12:1 reminds us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God.

That means our health journey should be spiritual stewardship, not just aesthetic pursuit.

Instead of copying everyone else’s goals, ask God:

• What does health look like for me?

• What habits should I focus on?

• What is a healthy weight for my body?

• What strategy works for the life You’ve called me to live?

Not everyone is built the same.

Some people are naturally slim. Some people are naturally curvier. Some are naturally athletic. Some are naturally thicker-framed.

And there’s freedom in accepting how God designed you.

You may never have the frame of the women you see online — and that’s okay.

The goal is not to become someone else.
The goal is to steward yourself well.

Final Encouragement

Your fitness journey does not have to mirror the world’s version of fitness.

As believers, our focus should not be obsession, vanity, or comparison.

Our focus should be:

• health

• stewardship

• discipline

• grace

• wisdom

• and godliness

Scripture says in 1 Timothy 4:8:

“For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things…”

Exercise matters. Health matters. Taking care of yourself matters.

But your identity, your purpose, and your eternal value matter more.

So keep showing up.
Keep honoring your body.
Keep giving yourself grace.
Keep asking God for wisdom.

And remember: just because your journey looks complicated doesn’t mean God isn’t working.

Did you check out our other article on why I learned to love my stomach bulge? You can check it out here:

https://www.girlsanthemmag.com/p/why-my-stomach-bulge-is-something

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I’ve spent the last six years trying to determine what’s going on with my stomach. As someone who has had an ectopic pregnancy at nineteen, I’m realizing that it’s more important for me to focus on health than numbers, but I can’t lie. Seeing that bulge can be discouraging. Especially when you know you’ve put in the work. Dove’s 2024 Beauty Report found that 68% of women still feel pressure to look slim or thin, and 64% feel pressure to have a small waist. The struggle is real, and it’s bigger than just us.

So, I wanted to encourage my sisters in Christ out there who feel like their workouts don’t matter much since the number on the scale stays the same, and they still can’t wear a dress without Spanx. I wanted to share some of my personal journey as it pertains to why I focus on health and fitness as a part of my beauty routine, and how learning to love my bulge has made me feel more beautiful.

1. I eat healthy, 3 meals a day, with healthy snacking in between. My baseline is good. While I do snack on chips, Chick A Boom popcorn, and a slice of cake from time to time, for the most part, I’m about 85-90% clean eating. From my breakfast to my snacks, I don’t eat processed foods, I make sure I’m getting my vitamins from food (not just supplements), and I drink nothing but water. I can only control my diet. I’ve come to embrace something very valuable: As long as my internal reflects my efforts, I can’t worry about the other stuff. Sure, I’d love to wear a dress without worrying about which Spanx brand is best, but I don’t trip over it because I know I do the work.

2. I work out 3-4 times a week. I do GrowwithJo and combine that with walking when able. Even Jo’s 10-minute workouts can kick your butt, so trust me when I tell you, between resistance training, walking, and other HIIT workouts she offers, I am consistent, and I sweat. I can’t let the fact that my core doesn’t look like hers, or anyone else’s, for that matter, stress me out. I try to work out at least 30 minutes per day, with at least two days of walking if possible.

3. I am confident in what people don’t see. I’ve heard it all my life, “Girl, if I could just have your confidence.” The truth is, I don’t always feel confident; however, I am confident in what people don’t see. I know I’m kind, loving, and loyal. I know that I’m healthy, mind, body, and spirit. This helps me to be confident all around. The things people can’t see – my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my soul – are what I’m confident in. I remember when I did a virtual mother/daughter tea in 2020. The young lady who was the guest speaker for Gen Z texted me to go over particulars. When everything was situated, she called me. I asked her if everything was okay, and she said, “Yes. I just wanted to hear your voice.” I was confused but didn’t mind. After the call, what God dropped in my spirit blessed me. He said, “Mya, your presence is soothing to people. Own that.” It wasn’t about cockiness; it was Him reminding me that what I needed to invest in the most was my spirit. Looks may draw someone in, but the spirit keeps them around. This applies to love and friendship.

For me, if I know I’m stewarding my body well, I can’t get caught up in what my stomach looks like. I know I have clean gut health because I take care of my body. I take supplements as guided by the Holy Spirit, and I make sure I’m getting my yearly physical. When that bloodwork comes back clean, I know I’m doing something right. I also take into consideration that perimenopause affects Black women very heavily. The cortisol and stress levels of dealing with that as a forty-one-year-old woman alone can be a lot. I keep the stress down and take care of what I can control.

Even with all the videos and articles about how to fix a hormonal belly, I’ve tried it all (with wisdom). I eat what they suggest, which is already a part of my diet in most cases, and I do the workouts. This is why I’ve rested in the fact that as long as my weight is the number God gave me (ask Him for yours), I’m at peace.

And for my single ladies? God has already assured me that my future hubby will love me just the way I am. I encourage you to embrace that truth for yourself as well.

What are some of the things you’ve struggled with when it comes to this area of your life? How are you going to embrace your bulge from here on out?

June Update: As of the publishing of this post, I am doing intermittent fasting. I eat two meals a day, both with a protein and two vegetables (or I do a huge salad with tuna/shrimp as one meal) between 12 and 8 pm. I’m enjoying it a lot. I still do my workouts 3-4 days a week.

Want to dive deeper? Join the Girls Anthem Library!

If you are looking for a community that helps you honor God with your entertainment and daily life, we would love to welcome you into the Girls Anthem Library on Ream. As a member, you unlock my full catalog of Christian romance, unlimited 2025 magazine access, weekly devotionals, exclusive monthly short stories, and monthly Zoom meetups with me!*

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I’m working on something new, and I’d love your input. I’m in the early stages of launching a nail brand rooted in one thing — healthy nails first, beautiful color second.

Before I go any further, I want to make sure I’m building something that actually serves women like you. That’s where this quick survey comes in. It covers nail habits, salon experiences, and thoughts on nail health and treatments.

It takes less than 5 minutes and means the world to me.

https://forms.gle/fNvaPgreu4q6gMNk7

Thank you for always showing up for me. It doesn’t go unnoticed. 🩷

Mya Kay

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A month ago, I started reading 9 Months is Not Enough: The Ultimate Pre-pregnancy Checklist to Create a Baby-Ready Body and Build Generational Health by Alexandria DeVito. In it, she shatters myths surrounding fertility and provides practical strategies to prepare your body for pregnancy, before you even start trying to conceive. Biblically, this reminded me how deeply God values preparation (Proverbs 24:27) and the importance of stewarding our bodies well (1 Corinthians 6:19–20). As I read, I was encouraged to see that while I’m still waiting on my kingdom husband, I’ve already been on the right path toward preparing my body for pregnancy. That stirred something in me—not just for myself, but for you.

Some of you may be wrestling with infertility. Some of you are simply wondering: How can I best prepare now so that I’m partnering with God before, during, and after pregnancy? Either way, I’m honored to hold space for this conversation. Because just like the subtitle says—motherhood starts with faith, not a due date.

If children aren’t your desire or this isn’t your personal battle, that’s okay. I invite you to pass this along to a sister who needs the encouragement. Let’s get into it.

The Truth About Fertility

What I appreciate most about DeVito’s book is how she breaks down the science. In Chapter 3 (page 66 in the eBook), she offers a simple but powerful equation for conception:

Good egg + good sperm + proper timing + optimal environment (uterus)

She also emphasizes a key point: Fertility is a barometer of your overall health. While age matters, your biological age (cellular health) carries more weight than your chronological age (how many birthdays you've had). That distinction changed everything for me.

What God Gave Me for the Waiting Woman

Your womb is a vessel, not an afterthought. And while prayer is essential, preparation is equally necessary. Too often, women wait until they’re trying to conceive to start taking vitamins, eating better, or getting more active. But did you know that healthy habits before pregnancy can reduce the risk of complications like gestational diabetes, preterm birth, and hypertension? (Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9182711/)

This matters. Why? Because how we treat our bodies over time directly impacts our reproductive health. The goal isn’t just conception; it’s to conceive in health.

For the waiting woman...

Break Generational Shame and Silence

As a woman of color, I grew up in a household where topics like miscarriage, infertility, or reproductive health were rarely discussed. If someone got pregnant, we heard about it, but deeper conversations were few and far between. At 19, I had an ectopic pregnancy and lost a fallopian tube. I’ll never forget my OB/GYN, a Black woman, telling me I had a 50% chance of it happening again. No encouragement. No next steps. Just the facts.

Here’s what I’ve learned: You only need one healthy fallopian tube to get pregnant. And more importantly, you need faith, wisdom, and information. We get to break the silence in our families, and we get to advocate for ourselves and others.

Preparing Starts in the Spirit

Don’t wait to believe. Preparing your womb starts with faith. Prayer is the most important tool in your hands. I encourage you to fast and pray specifically for this area, long before your spouse enters the picture. If you're courting or engaged, grab this book or something similar. God is practical. He gives wisdom for the how, not just the when. Even if marriage feels far away, God honors faith in the “not yet.” Faith isn’t passive. Start speaking God’s Word over your womb now.

Healing Is Holistic: Physical + Emotional

Five years ago, I stopped accepting the narrative that one fallopian tube equals infertility. Our wombs may carry trauma, but they also carry promise. Healing is possible, physically and emotionally.

Because I battled depression and schizophrenia for years, I had to heal my full ecosystem before welcoming a child. Emotional healing meant confronting the roots of unforgiveness, anxiety, and past sexual wounds.

Ask God for a strategy. He’ll reveal what generational lies you’ve unknowingly agreed with and help you break them.

Build a Lifestyle That Honors Motherhood Now

Whether you’re believing God for your first child or healing after miscarriage, I encourage you to build a lifestyle now that reflects the mother you hope to become. That includes rest, healthy eating, managing stress, and examining your upbringing. Ask yourself: Are there childhood wounds I’ve carried into adulthood? What patterns do I want to break?

For me, I used to believe kids shouldn’t have opinions. That came from being told to “sit down and shut up” as a child. I now know: Children are allowed to have voices. Of course, there’s a time and a place, but their opinions matter, especially in situations involving abuse or trauma.

Surround Yourself with Faith-Filled Voices

Find people who are in your boat and people who have overcome. Testimonies from women who’ve faced fertility battles are powerful, but so are relationships with sisters who are preparing right alongside you.

One of my friends is also waiting for her husband. We share pre-conception tips, encourage one another, and pray together. When my cycle got irregular, God showed her, in prayer, that I needed to add zinc and folic acid. I obeyed, and my body responded. This is why community matters.

And one last thing: Stop calling yourself infertile. Even if a doctor said it. Even if a chart says it. Speak the opposite: I am fertile. My womb is blessed. In God’s timing, I will carry.

Important Insight from the Book

Here’s what 9 Months is Not Enough shares about hormonal birth control and fertility:

• Nutrient Depletion: Birth control drains your body of vitamins essential for fertility, like B2, B6, B12, magnesium, and zinc.

• Gut Disruption: It alters the gut microbiome, which affects hormone regulation and immune health.

• Hidden Imbalances: It can mask hormonal issues instead of healing them, often acting like a band-aid instead of a solution.

This isn’t to scare you—but to inform you. Too many doctors give us just enough to manage symptoms instead of helping us heal, but we’re not just any women; we are daughters of the Most High God. We don’t settle for symptom management; we pursue wholeness.

Conclusion: Steward the Season Before the Seed

Yes, I recommend the book. But more than that, I recommend taking care of your health now. Don’t wait. Your future children are worth the preparation.

And let’s be clear, this isn’t just a woman’s responsibility. Men matter, too. Their sperm quality, diet, and stress levels all affect fertility. Clean eating, movement, and supplements aren’t “women’s work”, they’re teamwork.

Preparing for parenthood doesn’t start at the baby shower. It starts with stewardship, discipline, and obedience. The goal isn’t just to have a baby. The goal is to conceive in health, in peace, and in alignment with God’s timing.

Fertility Scriptures to Meditate On

Exodus 23:26 – “No one shall suffer miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.”

1 Samuel 1:27 – “I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”

Genesis 21:1-2 – “Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah… and Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age.”

Isaiah 54:1 – “Sing, O barren woman, you who never bore a child… because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband.”

Luke 1:36-37 – “Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age… For nothing is impossible with God.”

Want to dive deeper? Join the Girls Anthem Library!

If you are looking for a community that helps you honor God with your entertainment and daily life, we would love to welcome you into the Girls Anthem Library on Ream. As a member, you unlock my full catalog of Christian romance novels, unlimited 2025 magazine access, weekly devotionals, exclusive monthly short stories, and monthly Zoom meetups with me!*

*Please note: The library includes my independent catalog and does not include books published through Black Legacy Publishing or Kindle Unlimited titles.

Join Ream Library

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