Though written with Gen Z in focus, this piece on purity culture reaches far beyond one age group. Its honest reflections on sex, shame, and surrender invite women of every generation to find freedom and wholeness in Christ. All images provided by Canva AI.
On June 22, 2025, I almost fell back into masturbation.
Yes, me—the founder of Girls Anthem Media. The woman of God who prays heaven down. The leader who encourages women to stay pure no matter the cost.
But this time, I didn’t feel ashamed. I cried out to God, prayed, reached out to an accountability partner, and then got back in position.
Recently, I reviewed a survey I did last year for Gen Z women, and one response jumped off the screen: “I want real talk about the gospel and freedom—not just rules.”
That one line made me think about this very moment. It also made me think about the many young women who would’ve been too ashamed to share something like this with a Christian friend—let alone in a national magazine. But that’s the purpose of this article: To meet you where you are and remind you that we all face temptation—even anointed leaders like me.
What purity culture didn’t teach me, after I took my first purity vow at fourteen with a ring on my finger, was that a vow alone wouldn’t break the spirit of lust and perversion that had been chasing me since I was four. I was touched inappropriately by another little girl while we were “playing house.” I was innocent, but the enemy’s goal was to steal that innocence—and I ended up chasing that touch for almost two decades.
And I did. Masturbation was a real struggle for nearly twenty years (closer to thirty, if we count the times I fell and got back up again).
I was nineteen when I first learned about spirits and generational sin.That moment revealed to me that this wasn’t just a personal issue—it was a spiritual door that had been opened long before I was born. And while I’ve closed that door, the enemy still tries to sneak back through the cracks.
Sis, I know you’re up against similar struggles. Maybe you weren’t sexually violated, but that doesn’t mean you don’t carry scars. Scars that make temptation feel familiar when it shows up. And yes, I know purity culture often makes us roll our eyes, but hear me: God requires purity not to frustrate us—but to protect us. What He offers in covenant is too precious to play with in culture.
You know what made this last time different? I ran to the Father. I prayed. And He didn’t scold me. He whispered, “That’s my girl.” God always provides a way out of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:13, NKJV).
Here’s what I want you to know: God isn’t waiting for you to mess up. He’s waiting for you to invite Him in—into every moment, every desire, and every decision.Whether you’ve been abstinent for a year or had sex last month—He’s still right there with you.
Let’s be clear: Sex is designed for marriage. There’s no way around that. Premarital sex is sin. God calls us to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1, NKJV), and Song of Solomon tells us not to awaken love before its time.
But how do we live that out when our friends are all in relationships, when our favorite songs are laced with sex, and even our families aren’t modeling what purity looks like?
Let me offer you some real-world and spiritual wisdom for your journey. Whether your commitment started yesterday or years ago, here’s how to walk it out with God.
Practical Tips for Your Purity Journey:
1) Give yourself a “why” that matters.
Purity rooted in religion won’t hold up when temptation comes. You need a reason that tethers you to purpose. A sister once told me she was “tired of being sampled.” That stuck with me. My why? After battling schizophrenia for almost two decades, I refuse to pass anything to my future children that stems from disobedience. That generational door stops here.
2) Honor grace—it’s not a pass, it’s a weapon.
In my twenties, I knew God would forgive me, so I’d sin and ask for grace later. But grace isn’t meant to clean up sin—it’s meant to help us avoid it. Call on grace before temptation, not after.
3) Set goals—and live in a way that honors them.
One of my goals is for Girls Anthem Media to be the go-to brand for Gen Z women. That means I can’t preach one thing and live another. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being submitted. What are your goals—and how could compromise delay or derail them?
4) Think long-term, not “right now.”
Every decision is a seed. Sexual sin might offer five minutes of pleasure—but at the cost of purpose, clarity, or identity. Ask: Will this move me closer to my goal—or away from it?
5) Find accountability that doesn’t shame—but stays.
Back in 2022, I confessed my struggle to a small group. Some laughed. Others shrugged it off. But my group leader saw me—and stayed with me for a full year.
Ask God to send you someone who will walk with you through the wins and the warfare.
Spiritual Tips for Staying Aligned:
1) Guard your gates. (Psalm 101:3, NKJV)
Audit your music, social media, shows, and friend group. Just because it’s “not that bad” doesn’t mean it’s not opening a door. Unfollow, delete, block—whatever it takes to protect your spirit.
2) Don’t awaken love before it’s time. (Song of Solomon 8:4, NKJV)
God gave you the desire for love—because He intends to fulfill it. Wait for His timing, and don’t settle for someone who isn’t pursuing purity alongside you.
3) Remember what’s at stake. (1 Corinthians 6:9; Galatians 5:19–21, NKJV)
God’s Word tells us that those who practice sin won’t inherit the Kingdom. Falling is one thing—living in sin is another. You can’t afford to gamble your purpose for temporary pleasure.
4) Your body is not your own. (Romans 12:1-2, NKJV)
If Jesus gave His life for you, the least we can do is honor Him with our bodies.He never calls us to something without empowering us to do it. Holiness is hard—but it’s also worth it.
What Does Surrender Look Like?
Surrender means dying to yourself—daily. It means giving God your weak moments, not just your wins. It’s not a one-time prayer. It’s a lifestyle.
Everything you desire—marriage, success, purpose, peace—is on the other side of surrender and obedience. We don’t serve God to get things, but He promises that when we seek Him first, everything else will be added (Matthew 6:33, NKJV).
I know this walk isn’t easy, Sis. But I go hard for God because He delivered me from a mental illness that has no cure. I owe Him my life—times two.
So, what’s your “why”? What are you willing to surrender so you can walk in what He’s prepared for you?
I shared more about my June 22nd moment and my journey to purity on a private episode of Girls Anthem Unplugged. Check it out here:
Catch it this month on all platforms when our podcast goes global. Let’s walk this thing out—together.
Affirmation: Say this out loud, sis!:
“I am not my past.
I am not my desires.
I am a daughter of God, walking in purity, covered by grace, and led by truth.
I choose surrender over shame and purpose over pleasure.
Holiness isn’t a burden—it’s my protection.”
P.S. The Gen Z Issue is now available for purchase! With every print copy, you get a free PDF via Magcloud. Purchase Here