Trust Issues: Letting Go and Letting God as a Wife and Mother

Jul 28, 2025

Trusting God sounds cute and holy… until your whole house is falling apart. Let’s be honest: when everything feels like it’s unraveling, phrases like “Just trust God” can feel dismissive and even patronizing. The truth? There’s a real tension in being a wife and mother, and it often stems from our deep desire to control. We want to fix it, manage it, protect it, and force outcomes that feel “safe.”

It’s not just a personality trait, it’s a pattern. Studies show that women still take the lead in day-to-day parenting and household management, and that mental load can feel overwhelming (Source: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/01/24/gender-and-parenting/).

But what if the pressure you’re under isn’t just about responsibility? What if it’s about trust?

This article is for the woman doing all the things but still feels like she’s drowning because she forgot who’s really in control.

1. The Sarah Syndrome: When You Create a Counterfeit

In Genesis 16, we meet Sarai—tired, discouraged, and desperate. She had a promise from God, but because it wasn’t happening fast enough, she took matters into her own hands. She handed her maid Hagar over to her husband in an attempt to “help God out.” But instead of progress, she created pain. Sarai later regretted it deeply, saying, “My wrong be upon you!” (Genesis 16:5).

Sisters, don’t birth an Ishmael when God already promised you an Isaac. Creating your own solution might feel strategic in the moment, but it often brings more chaos than clarity. Don’t reroute your family’s destiny because you’re tired of waiting. God doesn’t need a shortcut, He desires your surrender. And surrender always leads to His best.

Side note: If you're considering a decision like surrogacy, IVF, or anything life-altering, make sure it’s God-led, not fear-driven. Just because modern options exist doesn’t mean they’re part of your faith journey. Seek Him first.

2. Surrendering in Storms: Intentional Trust

Surrender isn’t passive, it’s intentional.

It means letting go of outcomes, timelines, and control, and saying: “God, have Your way in Your time, without my interference.” That doesn’t mean you do nothing; it means you don’t do more than He asked.

Maybe He told you to prepare for motherhood, but not pursue IVF. Maybe He’s calling you to stop repeating that same issue with your husband, even though you’re right.

Surrender says: Even when this doesn’t make sense, I will still obey.

This kind of trust goes beyond quoting scripture. It means praying without plotting. It’s refusing to bring your own solution to God and asking Him to rubber-stamp it. He’s not trying to just fix your situation. He’s trying to form your character.

Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s worship.

3. Your Husband Is Not Your Assignment

Yes, your marriage is an assignment but your husband is not. There’s a big difference between praying for him and trying to spiritually parent him. He is God’s son before he is your spouse. Your role is to intercede, not control. You’re not his Holy Spirit.

1 Peter 3:1-2 reminds us: “…that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.”

“Without a word.”

“By your conduct.”

That means silence and example speak louder than sermons. Stop trying to project-manage your man’s spiritual walk. Release him. God is fully capable of leading him and your job is to trust God to do just that.

4. Trusting God With Your Children

We often hold on to our children out of guilt, fear, or regret. But Proverbs 22:6 reminds us:

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

You’ve trained them. Now trust Him.

They may be in a rebellious season right now, but the seed of truth has been planted. Let that seed grow in God's timing. And if you’ve made mistakes as a mom (we all have), know that your latter years are still fertile ground for healing and correction.

You can’t protect your children from their testimony. That’s a hard truth, but a freeing one. God will use even the detours to lead them home. Remember—He knows every twist in their journey, and His hands are large enough to hold what yours can’t.

5. When Motherhood or Marriage Becomes an Idol

Sometimes, our trust issues are rooted in identity confusion. We’ve made being a wife or being a mom our whole identity. But you’re not your roles—you’re God’s daughter first.

When those roles become your source of worth, you’ll spiral every time something goes wrong, but God’s not measuring your value by how “perfectly” your family runs. He wants your heart back.

And yes, He may be allowing the current storm to draw you closer. Not to punish, but to restore your perspective. God can’t be your anchor if you’re still holding the rope.

6. When God Doesn’t Answer the Way You Hoped

You prayed. You fasted. You trusted—and it still didn’t work out.

That hurts. Sometimes, the job doesn’t come through. The healing doesn’t happen. The dream doesn’t unfold like you envisioned.

But just because it didn’t go your way doesn’t mean it didn’t go His way.

God isn’t always after the option that feels good. He’s after the one that produces righteousness and generational fruit. Maybe your child won’t be the football star—but he’ll be a leader in another space. Maybe that degree won’t come but the home business He gives you will bring greater impact and flexibility. Your hopeful ending may not look how you expected, but it’s still on the horizon.

Conclusion: Lay Down Control. Pick Up Peace.

Recently, I was frustrated about a promise I’ve been waiting on, one I didn’t even ask for. God let me vent… then He gave me a tool: create biblical affirmations and speak them when I feel anxious.

Now, instead of spiraling, I speak His Word back to Him. And then? I move on with peace. You were never meant to carry the full weight of your family. God had a plan for them before you ever gave birth or said “I do.” Let Him finish what He started.

Trust is a daily choice—and peace is its reward.

Prayer: Letting Go, Picking Up Peace

Father, in Jesus’ name…

I surrender every piece of control I’ve tried to hold onto, especially the promises I didn’t even ask for, but I’ve been faithfully waiting on. Help me release the weight and pick up Your peace. You see what I can’t. You know what I don’t. You’re working—even in the silence.

I trust You with my family, my future, and my faith walk. When trust feels risky, remind me who I’m trusting. Teach me to wait well, not with worry, but with worship. Remind me that I don’t need to know how or when, I just need to know You. Help me model trust for my children. Give me wisdom to lead them through seasons that don’t make sense. I may not control the outcome, but I choose peace. Every single time.

In Jesus Name, Amen.