Unequally Yoked: It’s Bigger Than Dating
Because Purpose-Driven Women Can’t Afford Misaligned Connections
When we hear the phrase “unequally yoked,” our minds often go straight to dating. But sis, it’s deeper than that. For those of us raised in the church, we’ve heard this warning for years. But what does being equally yoked truly mean?
2 Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
This goes far beyond just romantic relationships. It applies to friendships, business connections, ministry partnerships—every relationship that has the power to shape your future. This isn’t about judging those who are still healing or finding their way. This is about protecting your purpose by aligning with people who walk in agreement with your faith and assignment.
God Can Use Anyone—But Be Wise About Yoking
Let’s be clear: God can use anyone. An atheist film investor in Hollywood can still sow into your vision, and that connection could lead them to Christ. God moves in mysterious ways and in marketplace settings, your light may be the only Bible someone reads.
But when it comes to the people you walk with, confide in, or link up with for the long haul, alignment matters. The deeper the relationship, the more potential it has to pull you off course, or propel you forward.
What Is a Yoke, Really?
A yoke is a wooden harness used to link two oxen together. If one is weaker or heading in a different direction, they’ll move in circles—or worse, injure one another. The same is true in our relationships. Being equally yoked means walking with people who share your faith, your values, and your eternal vision, not just your hustle and your vibe.
God may call you to pour into someone as a mentor or a guide but too often, we confuse assignment with alignment. We turn seasonal connections into lifelong commitments, and wonder why we feel drained.
Assignment vs. Alignment: Know the Difference
Not everyone is called to walk closely with you. Some people are simply assignments, you're called to pour into them, not partner with them.
Here’s a word of wisdom I live by: “Don’t get personal with someone God called you to minister to.” You can love them, share relevant experiences, and help them grow, but don’t confuse that with covenant friendship.
One way to discern this? Pay attention to how you feel around them. Do you feel like it’s always a project? Is your grace for them running thin? Maybe the assignment is complete or maybe you’re pouring beyond your capacity. And if you’ve been praying for godly friendships but find yourself drained by an “almost-friend,” it might be because you’ve elevated an assignment to a position they were never meant to hold. Here’s a prayer for clarity: “God, show me who’s called to me and who’s simply close to me.”
Not Just Saved—Aligned
Being equally yoked in friendship is just as critical. And here's the truth: someone can be a Christian and still unequally yoked with you. This isn’t just about salvation, it’s about spiritual maturity and shared vision.
I’ve been in friendships where I was teased for being “too deep” but I’m not chasing surface-level Christianity. I want the fullness of Christ. Not just heaven when I die, but purpose while I live.
Equally yoked friendships:
Hold you accountable.
Push you into purpose.
Love you with truth, not just comfort.
They don’t compete, they cover. Think of Ruth and Naomi. Ruth didn’t just stick around, she honored the call on Naomi’s life. And because of that covenant, Ruth walked into one of the greatest redemptive stories in Scripture.
Godly friendships require intentionality. If you’re still waiting for that tribe, trust that God is preparing them the same way He’s preparing you.
In Dating: Don’t Marry a Mission
Too many women date with hope—not discernment. We see potential, we believe for change, and we confuse brokenness with mystery. Here’s what you should be looking for in a partner:
A complete person, not a construction project.
A work in progress, not someone expecting you to do the work.
Someone rooted in their identity, not leaning on you to define their worth.
A vessel, flawed but committed to wholeness with God.
A partner, willing to grow, not expecting you to play Savior.
You can grow with someone but you shouldn’t have to build both the relationship and the person. Marriage isn’t a rescue mission and you’re not a project manager. You’re a partner in purpose.
Bonus: This Applies to Business Too
This principle isn’t just personal—it’s professional. Whether it’s a ministry team, a creative project, or a business endeavor, alignment matters. God may allow you to work with someone who doesn’t yet believe, but still carries godly characteristics. That’s workable. But someone who lacks ethical integrity, spiritual discipline, or respect for your boundaries? That can become dangerous, fast.
At Girls Anthem Media, I personally prefer working with believers because of the spiritual weight behind our mission. While I can’t (and legally shouldn’t) require faith to be a job qualification, I do pray over every hire, asking God for alignment, not just ability. Partnership without shared purpose is dangerous.
Final Thought: Being equally yoked isn’t about judgment. It’s about protection.
Challenge: Ask God to audit every relationship in your life—and give you the courage to release what no longer aligns with your purpose.
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