You know what’s funny? I wasn’t even bothered by my stomach bulge until the last six years. It’s like once I stopped focusing on the number on the scale, the bulge became the only thing I could see. When I think of beauty and a woman taking care of herself, I believe our diet and weight should be factored in. What’s the point in finding out which beauty brands work best for your skin if you’re not taking care of your body?
I’ve spent the last six years trying to determine what’s going on with my stomach. As someone who has had an ectopic pregnancy at nineteen, I’m realizing that it’s more important for me to focus on health than numbers, but I can’t lie. Seeing that bulge can be discouraging. Especially when you know you’ve put in the work. Dove’s 2024 Beauty Report found that 68% of women still feel pressure to look slim or thin, and 64% feel pressure to have a small waist. The struggle is real, and it’s bigger than just us.
So, I wanted to encourage my sisters in Christ out there who feel like their workouts don’t matter much since the number on the scale stays the same, and they still can’t wear a dress without Spanx. I wanted to share some of my personal journey as it pertains to why I focus on health and fitness as a part of my beauty routine, and how learning to love my bulge has made me feel more beautiful.
1. I eat healthy, 3 meals a day, with healthy snacking in between. My baseline is good. While I do snack on chips, Chick A Boom popcorn, and a slice of cake from time to time, for the most part, I’m about 85-90% clean eating. From my breakfast to my snacks, I don’t eat processed foods, I make sure I’m getting my vitamins from food (not just supplements), and I drink nothing but water. I can only control my diet. I’ve come to embrace something very valuable: As long as my internal reflects my efforts, I can’t worry about the other stuff. Sure, I’d love to wear a dress without worrying about which Spanx brand is best, but I don’t trip over it because I know I do the work.
2. I work out 3-4 times a week. I do GrowwithJo and combine that with walking when able. Even Jo’s 10-minute workouts can kick your butt, so trust me when I tell you, between resistance training, walking, and other HIIT workouts she offers, I am consistent, and I sweat. I can’t let the fact that my core doesn’t look like hers, or anyone else’s, for that matter, stress me out. I try to work out at least 30 minutes per day, with at least two days of walking if possible.
3. I am confident in what people don’t see. I’ve heard it all my life, “Girl, if I could just have your confidence.” The truth is, I don’t always feel confident; however, I am confident in what people don’t see. I know I’m kind, loving, and loyal. I know that I’m healthy, mind, body, and spirit. This helps me to be confident all around. The things people can’t see – my heart, my mind, my spirit, and my soul – are what I’m confident in. I remember when I did a virtual mother/daughter tea in 2020. The young lady who was the guest speaker for Gen Z texted me to go over particulars. When everything was situated, she called me. I asked her if everything was okay, and she said, “Yes. I just wanted to hear your voice.” I was confused but didn’t mind. After the call, what God dropped in my spirit blessed me. He said, “Mya, your presence is soothing to people. Own that.” It wasn’t about cockiness; it was Him reminding me that what I needed to invest in the most was my spirit. Looks may draw someone in, but the spirit keeps them around. This applies to love and friendship.
For me, if I know I’m stewarding my body well, I can’t get caught up in what my stomach looks like. I know I have clean gut health because I take care of my body. I take supplements as guided by the Holy Spirit, and I make sure I’m getting my yearly physical. When that bloodwork comes back clean, I know I’m doing something right. I also take into consideration that perimenopause affects Black women very heavily. The cortisol and stress levels of dealing with that as a forty-one-year-old woman alone can be a lot. I keep the stress down and take care of what I can control.
Even with all the videos and articles about how to fix a hormonal belly, I’ve tried it all (with wisdom). I eat what they suggest, which is already a part of my diet in most cases, and I do the workouts. This is why I’ve rested in the fact that as long as my weight is the number God gave me (ask Him for yours), I’m at peace.
And for my single ladies? God has already assured me that my future hubby will love me just the way I am. I encourage you to embrace that truth for yourself as well.
What are some of the things you’ve struggled with when it comes to this area of your life? How are you going to embrace your bulge from here on out?
June Update: As of the publishing of this post, I am doing intermittent fasting. I eat two meals a day, both with a protein and two vegetables (or I do a huge salad with tuna/shrimp as one meal) between 12 and 8 pm. I’m enjoying it a lot. I still do my workouts 3-4 days a week.
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