Your Grandchildren Are Not Your Priority, They Are Your Promise
Be a caregiver that honors the caregiver...
Hey Queens of Purpose,
Here’s another oldie, but goodie, from 2018. I pray that if you don’t have grandchildren, you’ll pass this on to those who do. Enjoy!
Raising The Next Generation to Understand Boundaries & Love
You’ve raised your children. All ten of them (my maternal grandmother had ten children). For you, it may be less. Either way, you did your part.
Nothing pains me more than seeing a seventy-year-old woman, walking down the street with two young toddlers who are clearly her grandchildren. While I understand that as women, we “do what we have to do”, I think there is something that we have to remember.
Your grandchildren are not your priority, they are your promise - the promise of a legacy that God has given to all of us.
If you’re going to take them under your wing, regardless of the circumstances which put you in this position, just know that you will have to change your mindset and adjust the way you are view taking care of them.
Here are 3 tips on understanding how to navigate the landscape of your legacy, when grandchildren are involved, while you’re still building it:
Speak to their dreams but walk in your purpose. Though many of us grew up hearing the old adage, “You don’t do as I do, you do as I say,” we know that today, that doesn’t fly with our children. They honestly do as we do and they mimic a large percentage of what they see. With that being said, there’s nothing wrong with pushing your grandchildren (and children) to pursue their dreams, but you still have to walk in your purpose.
What good does it do to pour water on their seeds of hope if you aren’t willing to cultivate your own garden of gifts and talents?
Cover them, but cover yourself also. The greatest insurance plan from a company’s perspective is the one that covers them as well as the customer. Sometimes, it covers them more than it covers the customer. However, when it comes to your legacy, you have to cover your grandchildren - in prayer, in love and in discipline; but in the midst of that, don’t forget to cover yourself. If you’re forgetting your needs in the process or sacrificing your front and back end to cover them, you’ve got to draw a line. Obviously, this pertains to individuals with older grandchildren (teenagers). With younger babies, I know this may be more challenging, but pray and ask God what resources are available so that you can give them what they need and possibly, add to your resources as well.
Create time boundaries and honor them. Most people think that saying ‘no’ means that someone will love them less. But to be honest, most people don’t understand boundaries because they never had any to honor. You’ve got to be bold enough to put boundaries in place, even if you do it quietly. For example, if my room door is locked from 7 to 9pm nightly, that means that I don’t want to be bothered. That is my time. While grandparents of younger children may not have this luxury, the majority of grandparents who have grandchildren ages 10 and up will have to learn to make it an essential. Be fearless in setting up time boundaries and don’t compromise them.
These tips aren’t all inclusive, but I believe starting with these will help you to honor the legacy you’re trying to build.
The world is going to say ‘no’ to them more than they care to count.
Do what you can with their best interest in mind, but that will often mean saying ‘no’ more than you say ‘yes’. It will often mean having a few temper tantrums flare up, but it won’t kill you or them and it doesn’t mean that you love them or care any less.
Remember, legacy is about the long-term. Always think: what does this add to their life for the long-term?
Images provided by Sora/ChatGPT.
Do you know of any women who are raising their grandchildren? How do you feel this article can help them today?